nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
