you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
