I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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