woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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