so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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