If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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