Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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