i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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