Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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