i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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