I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
