you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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