she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
