Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
