The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
