JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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