And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
