I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
