everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i came on her dog
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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