It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
