He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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