I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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