"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I am available for nakedness
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
