I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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