thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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