Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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