If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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