we're blogging at a bar
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
