Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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