he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
