is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
