i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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