dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
