that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
