Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
