I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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