can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
