I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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