do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
