Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
