I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize