Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
