R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Less talking, more tequila
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
