My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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