If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize