Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
