never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
