Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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