He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
