so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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