I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
