I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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