Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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