i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
