I just pynch a tree in the face
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
