Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
