sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Randomize
