Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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