Joe is yelling at the trees again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
