whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
