The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
