Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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