Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
