no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
