it wasn't lemon gatorade
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
